Sunday, January 25, 2009

Musings on Family and Friends


Musings on Family and Friends

I dutifully watched the inauguration and must admit that I was somewhat inspired by the large number of participants and by President Obama's speech. Since then, though, it looks like the Democrats and the Republicans are going on with business as usual, picking fights and playing revenge politics. I hope the president can control Pelosi and Reid , and that the Republicans will really try to work with the Dems. This country is in too bad a shape for us to still play this game. It makes me wonder...who are we? Why do we allow our elected officials to behave this way? Why don't we send them all back to kindergarten? We should all be seriously offended by their behaviors...but we keep on electing them. The definition of insanity: electing the same people over and over and expecting things to change.


Well, I've been thinking about our families today. I spent a couple of days with my mother this week. She's almost 85, still lives alone, and is in reasonably good health. I am the oldest of four. My sister Judy is 61; brother Charlie is 56; and sister Mary is 48. Among us we have nine children, all boys except for one. I have 2 boys, Judy has 3 boys, Charlie has 2 boys, and Mary has twins, one of each gender. I have the only grandchildren. The picture on the right is the four of us taken at Thanksgiving 2008. From left to right: Judy, Charlie, me, Mama (Mary Elaine Bird Nichols), and Mary.


Both of Jim's parents are dead, but his older sister, Lou, is still living. She is 12 years older than we are, and lives in Louisburg near her daughter, Fran Loftin. The picture on the left is of Jim and his sister, taken in the spring of 2008 at Lystra Baptist Church on the occassion of a ceremony of acceptance for a gift given to the church in memory of their mother, Lessie Young Riggsbee.


Our families have been very important to us during our lives and good relationships with our siblings continue. I often wonder what people do when they don't have siblings? How do you keep that connection when your parents are gone?
While I was writing this blog, I received notice that one of my good friends died this morning. She wasn't even 62 years old. I first met her when we lived in Goldsboro; she was a good to me and to Jim and Jon. I will write more about her later. One more reminder that we should make every day count.




Monday, January 19, 2009

Thoughts on "The" Inauguration

Okay. It's the day before "THE" inauguration, so I guess I should make some sort of comment. I know, I know...it's SO historic...maybe it's just hysterical. Obama was not our choice for this job, but since he is our president, we wish heartily for his success. After all, his success is the success of all. Having said that, I do want you to know that I think his children are beautiful; and I think that Obama and Michelle are good parents. I can't think of a better role model for the many, many black boys that eschew education, polite society, and decent dress. Obama embodies the very essence of hard work. He has set goals and gone about achieving them rather than just waiting for life to unfold for him, the antithesis of the actions of many young men, both black and white, who believe that they have no control over what happens to them.

Having said that, with all respect for his accomplishments, we are very concerned about his "stimulus" package that is couched in softer terms...recovery, reinvestment, rather than what it really is...redistribution. Make work, as in the days of Roosevelt, will not in the long run work. But we don't know the answer, either, so I guess we'll just go along for the ride. How sad to feel so powerless, knowing that the path ahead is frought with dangers and the very real possibility exists that we will not come off of it stronger.

I confess to being somewhat confused about the excitement that this election has had on the elecotorate. Obama is half white, why call him black? Why not identify him as what he is...biracial? He was not raised in poverty (as some teachers in CMS have taught their students). He was raised white by his white grandparents, sent to a prestigious private school, and attended colleges that added to his resume. I haven't heard that he had any scholarships, so I guess that his grandparents paid for his Ivy League education. He, in no way, sufffered the ignominities that accompany the experiences of many black people. So, really, he is white in terms of experience. What is it that makes everyone think he is the "Great Black Hope"?

So, here's to you, Barak...may you be successful. May you exceed all the expectations that your supporters have for you, and may you not disappoint those of us that don't really believe in you yet.

This weekend we went to Chapel Hill to see UNC play Miami in an ACC matchup...only we never got there. It was our 40th anniversary and our boys got tickets for us (they were coming also). However, life happens while you're making other plans. Adam had to got to an environmental conference, Jon's youngest got sick, and so did Jim. We did go to CH, but left Saturday night without going to the game. The up side was that we (I) spent quality time with Gracie and Avey. Gracie didn't want me to leave. "I hove (love) you." I "hove" her, too, and can't wait to get back. When I figure out how to put pics on this thing, I'll add some.

We may have some falling weather tonight and I'll take some pics then. I suppose I'll be forced to add them to this blog. Enjoy the inauguration if you're so inclined. I'm going to look at the swearing in and the President's speech.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

New Beginnings in Old Age

This is J.J. Kitty. I can't figure out how to move this picture or even to delete it for that matter. She's 15 years old. Adam rescued her while he was at WCU and brought her home with 3 siblings. We kept her and she has been a good pet. And here is Chester. He found us at our cabin in the mountains and we brought him home. He's a great pet, though slightly neurotic. Jim loves him to pieces.


Sixty-two is an odd age to start something technological when one is challenged in that area. However, this seems like a good forum for sharing with friends and family and putting a mark on the world! This post will catch readers up on our lives for the past 62 years, and future posts will introduce you to our family, our ideas, and our hopes and plans for the future. Lynn will probably be the author most of the time...she's retired and Jim is still working!



Jim and Lynn Riggsbee are both 62 years old. We were born in the first year of the Baby Boom (1946) and have seem many, many changes in our life times. Both of us were born to middle class families. There was little money to spare, and by the time we met, we were both acquainted with hard work. Jim was born in Durham, NC and was reared on a farm in Chatham County, NC, a place near Chapel Hill. Lynn was born in Wilmington, NC, but was reared in Greensboro. Our early lives were typical of those our age. We went to school, helped our parents with tasks in the house and garden, and eventually had part time jobs. As children we played outside with our friends, went to church where we were active in the youth groups, and spent no time with technology. About all we had was a telephone which was tied to the wall and did not even have a handset that could be carried around. Even wall phones with that squiggly little cord that would allow you to move around the room to some degree didn't come along until sometime in the 50s. We did have radios, but unlike our parents, we did not sit around the radio and listen to the "radio soaps" or to speeches by political leaders or to anything intellectual. Our radio listening was generally limited to "pop" music. And television...now that was an amazing invention. We were about 8 when each family got their first television. They were in big boxes with small screens. My family's set had legs on it and it was a blond color. The screen was very small and the picture was in black and white. Stations were limited to those that were in close proximity, and they didn't stay on 24/7. Mostly they sighed off the air about midnight and returned about 6 a.m. I remember the National Anthem playing when the stations signed off and on.


It was a very patriotic time, being that WWII had ended not too long before our births. The United States was entering an age of prosperity, but the middle class really hadn't found the new prosperity that they would find later.



Vocations were modest. My father was a mechanic and worked on cars at a local garage until he opened his own business repairing speedometers. My mother was a stay-at-home Mom until I was about 15, and then she went to work. I'm not sure why, but I think it might have been that Daddy had just quit his garage job and was focusing on growing his speedometer business. Isn't that just like a kid...no idea of what is going on with the parents. Jim's father and mother both worked for the University of North Carolina...Jim's father in the laundry until his retirement because of ill health, and his mother in the utilities office when she eventually became office manager. She retired after 30 years with the state of NC. They also farmed, so life was very busy for them, particularly during the growing season.



Both of us had close relationships with at least one set of grandparents. At one time, the young Nichols family lived with my mother's parents and we continued to live in the same town with them until their deaths. I LOVED to go over there. Now that I am a grandparent I know that I didn't love it any more that they did! I didn't know my father's parents well, though my grandmother lived in Greensboro for a time before her second marriage. Both my grandmothers were extraordinary women, ahead of their times in many ways. My father's mother (we called her Maw Nick) was a working woman long before that became acceptable in polite society. She was smart, resourceful, energetic, and pragmatic. I didn't know that when I was a child, but, retrospectively, and with the wisdom of some years, I have developed a phenomenal respect for her and the many hardships that she encountered. My mother's mother (Grandma) was a typical housewife, but she did not abide that situation with style and grace. Trained as a teacher, she had to stop when she became a mother ( how archaic), and until her dying breath was a proponent of a woman's right to manage her life as she saw fit. She was also an early proponent of good nutrition and gave us many things to eat that were healthy, but that we did not like! Even with that, medical science at that time was not aware of many health risks that are second nature to us today...the ravages of fat, smoking, drinking, lack of exercise, etc. Grandma liberally used butter fat, whole milk, and animal fat for seasoning. Jim's grandmother lost her husband when his mother was 10 years old. She was left with 6 children whose ages spanned infancy to 12 years. His grandfather's family urged her to put the children in an orphanage. I suppose the reason was that women just didn't have many options at that time, and it would have been hard to support them. She refused, however, and managed to raise all 6 of them. She married 3 more times, and throughout asserted herself as a competent and strong woman. Jim's mother must have taken lessons from watching her mother survive a tough game!



At the time we were in our formative years, it was considered unladylike to exercise (or sweat, really). Girls did not participate in sports other than in gym in school, and while there were few organized sports for boys outside of school, there were none for girls. Jim played football and basketball in school, and even had a scholarship to college to play, but sports did not have the same domination that they do in today's world. There were a few pro teams, and I remember my grandfather and father watching football on Thanksgiving, but I have almost no recollection of watching sports during my childhood. Jim has a better fix on that, but he'll have to tell you about it.



Neither of us did much travel when we were children. Money was tight and families didn't go all over the world like ours has done in the years since. Both of us went to the beach once a year. My family went to Long Beach on the NC coast, and Jim's family went to Myrtle Beach on the SC coast. My grandparents did take me and my siblings to the mountains a couple of times a year to visit their families. It was such a treat. Grandma and Grandpa would pick us up from school (before the end of the day) and we'd spend about 8 hours going from Greensboro to Cullowhee. I remember telling my mother that I would get the $.40 plate at school because it had vegetables on it, and it would be a long trip to the mountains. There were no fast food places at that time, and if one was going to eat during a trip, food was packed and a picnic was had. I still like to do that! We did that very thing often with our children when we were traveling.



Both of us graduated from high school, I from Grimsley High School in Greensboro, and Jim from Pittsboro High School in Pittsboro. We both headed to college and chose Western Carolina College (now Western Carolina University) in Cullowhee, NC. Of course, Cullowhee was very familiar to me as I had visited there throughout my childhood. I had no adjustment problems and loved being there. Jim played football until he found that he could not play ball and keep up with his studies. Of course, we met there. We initially ran with the same crowd, but didn't think much of each other for some reason. That changed and by the time Jim joined the Air Force in 1968, we were an item. I'll not bore you with the details of our tempestuous relationship, but we had our ups and downs (as does any couple). Nevertheless, we will celebrate out 40th anniversary on this coming Saturday, January 17.



We were married while Jim was in the Air Force and I was still in school. After our wedding Jim went back to Biloxi, MS, and I returned to Western to finish my degree in education. In June of 1969, following my graduation, we went to Biloxi to start our married life. Jim had several more weeks in his technical training, and he had been assigned to Seymour Johnson AFB in Goldsboro, NC for his permanent duty assignment. We left Biloxi several weeks before Hurricane Camille hit and we were grateful! We spent 4 years at Seymour Johnson. I taught school and Jim served our country. Although this was during the Vietnam era, he remained stateside, repairing the electronic countermeasure equipment on the fighters that served in the Asian country. When Jim left the Air Force he secured a job as a restaurant manager. After his training period in Goldsboro, he was moved to Charlotte, NC, where we have been ever since. He no longer works for the restaurant chain, which no longer exists, but has worked for many years in the packaging industry. We made the decision early on to not move from Charlotte. I was involved in the public school system in Charlotte-Mecklenburg for many years, and retired just recently.



While we were in Goldsboro, we became the proud parents of our first son, Jonathan Blair, a wonderful child and an amazing adult. After several years in Charlotte, our second son, James Adam was born. He is, likewise, and amazing adult, though his adolescent years were not something to write home about!



Life has moved on at a brisk clip, and now we find ourselves in advanced middle age. We have wonderful sons and wonderful daughters-in-law, and we also have 5 grandchildren. You will meet them later. I have retired, Jim is on the downhill side of work, and we are building a new house. You'll hear more about it, too. Our "immediate" family at this time consists of us, Chester (the dog)...there's an interesting story about how we got him, and J. J. Kitty (the cat)...her story is interesting, too.



If you are young and you are reading this blog...life moves faster than you think. Make the best of it, enjoy who you are, where you are, what you are; and leave a mark in the world. It doesn't have to be big, but make sure that you mattered to someone!